They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
