not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
