Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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