What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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