you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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