I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
