I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
