I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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