We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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