I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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