Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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