Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize