Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
nutella sex= disaster
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
