It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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