The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
