Sry I called you an 8
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
