I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
from now on my penis is your penis
he shaved USA in his pubs
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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