good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
