wat bout pragnant strippers??
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
