I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
