All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize