How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
