Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
