just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
