Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Randomize
