No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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