The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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