Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
