You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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