Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
