I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
