Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
