I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
