whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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