question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
