Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
