she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
