mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He shit in the fireplace
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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