Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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