Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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