I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
