She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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