so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
