Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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