hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
