I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Bring me that man meat
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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