I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
