but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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