yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
