what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
