But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
