You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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