The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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