That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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