she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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