Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
