i think i have herpe
just one?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
