I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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