OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
