All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
