apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize