3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize