did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
