You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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