Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
