And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
