I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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