Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
